at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
