ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
