I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
