before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
