ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
