My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
