Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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