some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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