we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Walk of Shame today included voting.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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