nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize