This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
