at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
