Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
