bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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