so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize
