Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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