I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
