Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
