Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Randomize
