Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
