Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
