You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
vagina is talking i cant
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
