Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
