Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
