don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Actions speak louder than pants.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
