Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
