he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
