How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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