His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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