I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
