my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
