no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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