Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
