im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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