wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
