the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize