people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
