I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
