omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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