Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
