where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
