he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
