ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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