I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
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