God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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