the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You were trust falling into bushes
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
