We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
