so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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