Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
