I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize