guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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