My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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