I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize