She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
two words: eviction party
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
