so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
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