We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
