O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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