oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
