Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize