So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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