$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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