I feel great
I just peed on a car
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
