Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
