how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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