Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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